My first shot was December 28th. Immediately after I struggled with a migraine-like headache for nearly five weeks, leading me to get blood work done where they found my blood count was a bit off (it has been since the shot). The last few months I’ve struggled with fatigue, I assumed it was just because all my activity was catching up to me and despite being tired, I went on anyways.
I got my second Pfizer dose in January on the 22nd. Immediately I felt dizzy, lightheaded and just generally “off”. I got sent home from work and the next day was feeling better. I then started struggling with my memory, confusion and a delirium spell in February which left me completely confused, lost, disorientated and where I was. I have also been struggling with some muscle weakness and joint pain. Since then I’ve been getting a few unusual symptoms.
Saturday morning I woke up and my only symptom was an itchy scalp. That’s it. I got my mom to look through my hair and she found nothing, other than a very irritated-looking scalp. The hives’ rash spread throughout the morning to other parts of my body mainly gathering on my joints. The rash rapidly spread all over my body and was extremely swollen and itchy.
I went to the clinic and called into work as I tried to get some of the swellings down. I had an appointment, got some meds and they sent me on my way. The next day, I woke up expecting it to be better and eager to go back to work. The same thing happened, but even worse, leaving me up at the ER for the first time the next day .
Again, they didn’t have many answers and kept me for a few hours, gave me an injection, and sent me home.
The next day, I slept basically the whole day and my symptoms were only getting worse. The determining factor was that now my face and neck were swelling and we didn’t feel it was safe to not get it looked out. So back to Emergency where they admitted me, got me a bed, and started running tests ASAP. My condition was changing so rapidly and they had never seen anything like it. I would develop a small lump on my forehead and I would fall asleep and then wake up to it rapidly spreading over half of my forehead, my entire scalp, behind the back of the head and my neck, to the point it became hard to breathe. There were many nights the first few stays when we would have scares and blood counts being off but not being able to figure out why. My condition was slowly getting worse and I was gradually losing the ability to be mobile, my blood pressure was rapidly changing throughout the night, and I went from a walker to a wheelchair in three days. Once the brain and excruciating head swelling got under control, I then developed these tremors . This is just a little of what happened – I hope it never happens again. My goodness!
Your prayers are helping!!
Mark 11:22-24 And Jesus answered them, “Have faith in God. Truly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be taken up and thrown into the sea, and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says will come to pass, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.”
At first, when I got sick, and I mean really sick, I was flooded with compassion, people were reaching out to me left, right, and center as I struggled with some “mystery” illness that we all so desperately wanted answers to. We wanted answers, but only answers that gave us comfort. We wanted answers with terms and conditions. Not ones that made us uncomfortable and made us question our own experiences.
Once I was told by many doctors that I was having a reaction to the vaccine, the chatter stopped. It no longer was about me being sick, but about me making a bad decision, and people were judging me for it. People distanced themselves due to their own discomfort. They did not know how to handle the part where I got sick from this vaccine that millions of people were taking in order to stop this virus from circulating around the world but was also killing so many people. It became incredibly silent, and the cracks of silence started filling with whispers and judgment.
I experienced people judging me. I had many people question why I even got the vaccine in the first place as I am a young, healthy girl who has a 99.9% chance of recovering from COVID. While that may be true, I personally have known people who are young, healthy, and have not yet recovered from COVID a year later. It’s been devastating to watch, and quite frankly all of the unknowns scared me. Being sick quickly turned to being judged. It was no longer about me, but the vaccine, as if it was some intentional self-inflicted wound I had given myself.
People would have the argument that “The majority of people are okay after having COVID (99.9%), but let’s keep jabbing”. How is it that the same argument reversed backward does not make any sense? If 99.9% of people are okay after having COVID, then why are we trying to force people to take a vaccine that has the potential (just like every other vaccine and drug) to hurt us?
I may be part of a small percentage to have had a reaction to a vaccine and this is not an argument whether or not to get the vaccine, because like I said, this is about my health and experience, rather than starting an argument that thousands and millions of people are already talking about.
COVID seemed to run rapidly through care homes, hospitals, attack elderly and even the young and healthy, producing so much fear and tension in people. The world seemed to explode in chaos and suddenly we had this cure for all of it. We had a vaccine.
People got excited in hopes of returning back to normal rather than waiting for the pandemic to play its course just like it’s done many times in history.
The world lives in a quick-fix mindset, grasping on anything to get leverage out of the discomfort that is thrown our way. We can’t tolerate sitting in discomfort for very long before we quickly search for a solution.
The vaccine was released and many people, including myself, wanted to make the right decision in order to be part of the solution.
Being young, maybe a little naive, and desperate for the world to return back to normal, I got vaccinated.
I wanted to be part of the solution. I don’t really know what that looks like anymore.
My life went from being a respected frontline worker honored by society, to a statistic. I went from being hardworking to incredibly ill in a matter of days. It’s like in the blink of an eye, my world changed again and suddenly I was looked down on for being somebody to jump on board of doing their best to be part of the solution to a bigger picture.
Whether or not vaccine injuries are in some eyes “rare” or not, I believe that they happen more frequently than reported. Many argue that the numbers are inaccurate and that it’s government-controlled, and so on. But do you really think that those are the only numbers that are inaccurate? We want a quick fix, but one that pleases everybody’s agenda. Not everybody will get terminally ill from COVID, just like some won’t from the vaccine. But many have died from COVID, as well as the vaccine. It goes both ways.
You are allowed your opinion on COVID, but reversing the topic, you are ALSO allowed your own opinion on the vaccine. You need to do what you think is best for you, not try and force people as if you know what is best for them.
Many people know that they respond to vaccines, and are unable to get them. They know their body, just like you know yours.
Going through the medical system and searching for a diagnosis was incredibly stressful and frustrating. I was frequently asked whether or not I had received my vaccine and responses from health care professionals quickly shifted once I had said ‘yes’. Maybe unintentional, but I was no longer seen as somebody sick, but another person with ‘dismissible and generalized’ symptoms.
The talk of anxiety surfaced a lot, and although I have struggled with anxiety in the past, this was NOT anxiety, and I knew that. I was being silenced. I was another undocumented vaccine injury statistic. I was verbally told I was suffering a vaccine injury but was never given this on paper. I was treated as if my sickness was less than important, and I rode the waves of being tossed around by medical professional to medical professional. It was not only hard on me but also my family.
I felt people treat me differently once I received a diagnosis of “vaccine injury” as if somehow I was lying or making it up to spread fear or convert people to become anti-vax. If I was anti-vax why would I have received the vaccine to begin with? Why would I have willingly put myself through this?
Regardless of my stance on the vaccine, it’s my own decision just like it is yours. I am here not to deter you from getting the vaccine or to promote it. I am simply spreading awareness and light around the fact that numbers are not always accurate and injuries are always possible. I know it’s a very controversial and touchy subject and it has brought a huge wedge between people, but I am here to remind you that everybody is doing their best.
I do not judge you for getting or not getting the vaccine and regardless of your standpoint, I
respect and honor your decision. I want to approach this as if we are all trying our best to be part of the solution and to bring back unity between our communities.
If you’ve made it this far, thank you for reading, and I wish you a safe end to 2021, and a healthy 2022.